Gnashing of Teeth

I need an outlet.

I have a lot of ideas buzzing around my head. That sounds pompous but it’s true. It’s snatches of things; dialogue, images, descriptions. I feel like I have a germ of an idea.

And then it goes away.

This is very frustrating.

I haven’t finished anything for a fair old while. I’ve had a couple of goes at NANOWRIMO but they didn’t go that well. I used to be able to finish stuff, in fact I’ve finished four movie scripts.

That was then.

For some reason making that push to the end escapes me and I don’t know why. I feel like something is missing. Is it the way that I write?

This is veering dangerously close to making excuses which I don’t want to do. A writer writes, has to write, must write. I want to write but it doesn’t flow.

This seems to have crept up on me. I can nail down 500 word reviews and the like but finishing something bigger, something with a bit more scope is proving to be a pain in the ass.

A while ago I set out my own comic universe. A whole potted history kept in a spreadsheet. Aliens and wars and robots and plots and kings and despots. All there. A big enough well to be able to go back to and pull things from.

Maybe I need to go back to that. Maybe I need to take a step back and throw these ideas down, these flies buzzing around in my head. Because there is nothing as fulfilling as finishing a story, be it in whatever form you like. I know I have decent stories in me and ones that I want to share.

This is the wish fulfilment aspect. In an area when professional writing is being decimated by ebooks and unpaid blogs, I want my job to be creating. I love creating stuff for my website, I love making videos and writing words about what I love.

It’s time to finish something. And I will. And I’ll put it out somewhere for people to read and hopefully they’ll dig it and would want me to do more. Because I want to.

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